


Elastic Heart

by marinablack99



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - High School, Broken Families, Dark, F/M, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Prison, Teen Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-05
Updated: 2015-04-05
Packaged: 2018-03-21 10:28:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3688785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marinablack99/pseuds/marinablack99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Reform School AU featuring Raven Reyes and John Murphy as two broken individuals trying to find their way in the world. This fic ties in canon characters in new and interesting ways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I never do write AUs like this but this one struck me hard and I couldn't get it out of my head. I had read another take on the 100 highschool AU that really didn't do the fandom any justice and I thought "I need to rectify this somehow". I posted several parts of this on Tumblr but I decided to consolidate it here. Read and review if you would like more!

“Hey, you hear about Reyes?” 

Murphy looked up from the Spanish workbook he was currently stabbing his pencil through. The cafeteria was mostly deserted since it was last period. He was supposed to be studying for the quiz tomorrow but his mind was on something else… _anything_ else. What was the point of high school anyway? So he could go to college?  _Him_? Ha. He’d be lucky if he didn’t end up in jail by his eighteenth birthday. And not fucking juvie jail either. Everyone always said it was only a matter of time before John Murphy ended up locked at Mt. Weather Federal Penitentiary just like his father…until daddy dearest had been executed, of course. 

Jasper Jordan and Monty Green huddled together at their usual table “whispering” to one another…although they could be heard throughout the cafe as clear as day. Murphy had no particular beef with either of them; they kept to themselves and stayed out of his way. Jasper was a tweaker who had gotten caught with pot one too many times; mommy and daddy still loved him to pieces. Monty, too, had the whole fucking world at his feet; he’d hacked a couple websites and created computer viruses. When Monty graduated, he would be handed a scholarship to Harvard. People world would laugh at Monty’s crimes later when they did a biopic about his life. 

Nobody was fucking laughing at criminal assault and battery and larceny charges. Murphy’s mother had been a junkie and whore who died with a needle in her arm when he was seven. Bounced from foster home to foster home, Murphy never settled or put down roots. He didn’t care about anyone and they certainly didn’t give a shit about him. Why it bothered him when Raven’s name came up he couldn’t exactly explain. Of course, Tweaker and Hacker suddenly learned volume control and Murphy almost tipped his chair trying to listen in on their conversation.

“Fuck this,” Murphy snapped. Slamming his workbook shut, he booked it toward the door.

Professor Kane glanced up from his newspaper, “Mr. Murphy, this is not an optional study period.”

“I need to take a shit.”

Kane narrowed his eyes, “ _Language_ , John. You may have a bathroom pass when you sign out.” Murphy shrugged and searched for a pen before leaning over to sign his name. Kane reached into the pocket of Murphy’s backpack and grabbed out a crumpled carton of cigarettes. “I’m just going to hold onto these.” 

The muscle in Murphy’s jaw ticked. “Guess now’s a good a time as any to quit.” Storming down the hall, he grabbed a drink at the water fountain and waited out the last few minutes of school. When the bell rang, he was the first one out the door. At four o’clock he had a standing appointment with Dr. Abigail Griffin for his court-mandated therapy sessions. As usual, the two of them stared each other. Murphy broke pencils while Abby talked at him; she was kind enough but she didn’t  _get_  it. Her idea of trying to  engage with him was talking to him about how her late husband’s mafia dealings affected her teenage daughter. Murphy had met the girl on more than one occasion; she was a spoiled princess if he’d ever met one…Clarke Griffin went to a private school. When she went home there was probably fucking milk and cookies waiting for her and all her little friends. 

Murphy, on the other hand, had pissed off his most recent foster mom one too many times and she kicked him out. Since then, he’d been placed in a halfway house for runaways and kids running out the clock to their eighteenth birthday. In just a few short months, John Murphy wouldn’t be the state’s problem anymore and they could wash their hands of him… 

Agitation burned in Murphy’s chest as he walked out of Abby’s office and headed toward Seventeenth Street. He nodded a cordial greeting to a couple of the hookers his mother used to know; it was still early yet and they were mostly lucid. These girls knew better than to proposition him; he had nothing to offer. Hell, he didn’t even have enough money to replace his fucking pack of smokes. Scratching idly at his shoulder in a vain attempt to ignore the craving, Murphy jogged up the steps. He thought he was home free when Pastor Jaha ambushed him.

“Brother Murphy, I hope you’ll join us for social hour after dinner tonight,” Jaha grinned warmly. “It’s going to be fun.”

“Are you asking me to go to the dance with you?” Murphy replied sarcastically. “Sorry, Padre, but I’m not interested in going steady. You’re going to have to go to the lameass dance by yourself.”

Jaha’s smile did not wane. “Suit yourself… but, there will be quite a few young women looking for a partner tonight. And did I mention that Mecha Tech has generously donated some refreshments?”

Girls…now  _that_  got Murphy’s attention. There were plenty of sluts that attended reform school. Juvenile offenders weren’t exactly known for their chastity—well, except in the case of Jasper and Monty. The same handful of girls had been passed around more times than the school’s donated textbooks; Murphy wouldn’t have touched one of them with a ten foot pole. The ones who weren’t whores were either lesbians or in committed relationships. It sucked. “I’ll think about it, okay?” Unlocking the door to his room, Murphy didn’t wait for Jaha’s response and closed the door in his face.

Plopping down at his desk, Murphy leaned over his textbooks. The next thing he knew, the dinner bell was ringing. Murphy glanced at the bright red numbers on his alarm clock and swore. Fuck…he’d fallen asleep for over an hour. If he didn’t get his ass to the mess hall quickly he was going to get stuck with the shitty broken tray again. Darting down the stairs, he saw her… Raven Reyes. She was taking her sweet time too. “Move!” Murphy snapped, nearly bumping her as he hurried down the stairs.

“Asshole!” Raven yelled after him but Murphy didn’t turn around. Thankfully, he managed to get one of the good trays…that was pretty much the only bright spot in his day. Dinner was the same fucking reheated spaghetti with meatballs they’d been serving all week; it smelled like sweaty gym socks. Murphy picked at it but he couldn’t stomach much. Jaha  _had_  mentioned refreshments at this stupid dance. Murphy supposed he could withstand lame music and ugly chicks for an hour or two…he’d do worse for cookies.

Dragging a hand through his dark hair, Murphy waited a respectable amount of time before he headed to the multipurpose room. This place used to be a church and the basement was mostly filled with dusty pews repurposed as benches and one bigass Crucifix hung in the corner. Music that hadn’t been popular since the nineties played on large, poor quality speakers. To his relief, he wasn’t the first one here and there were a bunch of people dancing, milling around, and chatting with one another. Murphy headed straight over to the food table and began to shove handfuls of goodies into his pocket. 

Jaha cleared his throat to alert Murphy to his presence, but he didn’t stop the boy from taking the food. Instead, he handed him a can of soda from a cooler. “I’m glad you decided to come, John. I hope you’ll stay and enjoy the party for a while.” 

“I don’t know, it’s not really my scene,” Murphy replied curtly. Now that he had what he wanted, there was no reason him to hang out with the freaks and geeks. 

“I understand,” Jaha inclined his head. “Would you do me a favor before you head back to your room?” He didn’t give Murphy a chance to protest. “Ms. Reyes has been without a partner all evening. I’d appreciate if you asked her to dance. She’s been a bit down lately. I think she could use some cheering up.”

Murphy glanced over to where Raven was sitting. As usual, she was dressed in oversized black clothes her lips were painted an ungodly shade of crimson. He didn’t usually go for the goth girls…but he couldn’t deny that Raven was beautiful. Then again, he didn’t want to make it a habit of doing favors for Pastor Jaha. Getting a reputation as a suck up could get him killed. “Look—”

Jaha was not above bribery when it came to something this important. He interrupted smoothly, “I’ll hold your snacks to make sure no one takes them. Nobody is going to admit they were actually here. You’re safe. Just dance with her, John…and there will be a candy bar with your name on. Peanut butter cups are your favorite, if I recall correctly.” 

Mulling it over a moment, Murphy folded his arms over his chest. “ _One_  dance…and I want two candy bars.” 

“Deal.” Jaha already knew he had won.

“Deal,” Murphy parroted, shaking Jaha’s hand firmly to seal the pact. After unloading his pockets, Murphy peered over at where Raven was seated. Fuck…he was really going to do this. Inching closer to her, he started and stopped as he made his way over to her. Why the fuck was his heart hammering like he was some ridiculous schoolboy with a crush? He was a fucking man, damn it. Finally, Murphy swallowed his fear and stomped over to her. “Do you want to dance?” It was more of a demand than a question.

Raven’s eyebrows rose in surprise as John Murphy, resident moody dipshit and general asshole addressed her. “Wouldn’t you rather try to push me down the stairs again?” 

Murphy pursed his lips in annoyance, “It wasn’t personal, Reyes. I didn’t want the fucking reject tray. I almost cut my thumb off on that piece of shit last week.” He folded his arms. “Besides, you look like a girl who can take it.” His cobalt eyes sparked with sexual tension as he looked her up and down.

“You’re a pig,” Raven brushed him off. She didn’t need to sit here and take this, least of all from him. She stood up and headed toward the door. She’d put up with this shit for long enough.

“Hey,” Murphy dogged her every step. He had two candy bars riding on this and he wasn’t about to fuck it up. “It’s one dance. What’s the fucking big deal?” 

“Why do you want to dance with me anyway? You’ve never been anything but a dick to me. I don’t buy your sudden change of heart.” Realization dawned on Raven slowly. “Jaha put you up to this, didn’t he?” Guilt spread across his features and she snorted derisively, “I should have known.” She shook her head, “I’m not going to be your fucking pity dance, Murphy.  You can grind with yourself. I’m sure you’re really good at that by now.” 

Murphy’s expression darkened. Raven was heading toward the door again; he grabbed her wrist and jerked her toward him. “Raven!” Her center of gravity was off and the quick movement put her off balance. In the blink of an eye, Raven was falling and Murphy reacted instinctively. Murphy wrapped his arms around her waist and dragged her against his body before she fell. Time froze as Raven melted against him. Her hands gripped tightly to his shoulders. It took him half a second to realize that something was off…

Raven’s clothing was at least three sizes too big, probably purchased from the thrift store down the street. He always imagined that her breasts would be heavy…he just never expected that her belly would be too. Instead of fitting tightly against him, there was the impediment of her abdomen that molded against him in an entirely different way. Murphy glanced down at the bump covered by the black t-shirt and then his eyes slid up to meet her murderous gaze. “Raven, you’re pregnant…” 

“You’re a regular fucking Sherlock Holmes, huh?” Raven’s cheeks burned with shame. Murphy was back to staring at her belly. She hadn’t yet found the strength to push him off yet. She told herself it was because she was still off-kilter although a dark part of her craved his touch. Anyone’s touch, really. They weren’t exactly dancing but Murphy’s arms were wrapped around her waist, her hands on his shoulders and she found herself swaying to slow beat of the music. A whole song passed and he still hadn’t spoken…Raven realized her heart was pounding. “What, no snarky comment, Murphy?”

“I’m working on it,” Murphy admitted honestly. For once in his life, he didn’t have a jab at the ready. Raven Reyes was  _pregnant_. As he held her in his arms, he could feel the child within her belly kicking against him. “Who did it to you?”

“Not your fucking business, Murphy,” Raven replied defensively. The fact that he even cared enough to ask made her uncomfortable. Searching his eyes, she expected pity and disgust…but what she was reading was something altogether different. It frightened her. “Look, it doesn’t matter. Idiot got himself caught in gang business. Wrong place, wrong time…ended up with a knife in his chest.” Tears burned behind her eyes, unbidden and unwelcome. Pain filled her chest before she could stop it and she lashed out. “I’m waiting for that fucking comment, Murphy. I can’t take you being all…nice! It’s disgusting…” She snapped. “If you can’t come up with anything original may I suggest a busted up vag comment? Fat joke? Lecture about how I fucked up my chances at a normal life? How I’m going to end up a crack whore just like my mom?” 

“Fuck, Raven!” Murphy snarled. “I didn’t say anything like that!”

“Yeah well you were thinking it!” Raven accused.

Murphy scoffed, “You don’t know what the fuck I was thinking! You don’t know anything about me!”

“Don’t I?” Raven snapped. “Petty thief who started busting into houses. One night you get caught, assaulted a cop and beat him so bad that he ended up in the hospital. The only reason you aren’t in Mt. Weather is because Detective Miller pled for leniency.  His son’s got a rough past so he’s got a soft spot for fuck-ups like you.” She didn’t stop there. “If you ask me, they should have tried you as an adult. Then you’d be in prison where you fucking belong. It’s only a matter of time before you end up there anyway. Did I miss anything?”

Raven hurt him. Deeply. He let go of Raven’s hips and took a step back, swallowing the bitterness that burned in his throat. “Nope,” Murphy’s voice came out as a hoarse whisper, “I think that’s about it.” If he didn’t get away right now, Murphy was going to do something he’d regret…like cry in front of her. He was no fucking pussy. 

“Murphy—” He took off like a shot, pushing people out of his way as he stormed out of the rec room. Guilt tore Raven open and she buried her face in her hands. Fuck…she was so used to having to protect herself from everyone and everything that she’d ripped apart the only person who really talked to her in  _months_. “Shit!” She needed to go.

Jaha’s expression was pensive as he watched the exchange between Raven and Murphy. Shortly after John fled the area, Raven followed. They were two lost souls who needed someone in their lives. Both of them were incredibly stubborn and this was going to require a heavy amount of prayer and patience…thankfully, Jaha had plenty of both.


	2. Chapter 2

Murphy successfully avoided Raven the rest of the week. She only had one more class to finish up her GED and was concurrently taking online classes at the local community college. Murphy was three months from getting his high school diploma and finishing up his senior project the best he could. Their paths rarely crossed…which was why he was surprised to see Raven heading his way. Professor Kane was guarding study hall again and there was no fucking way he could avoid her.

“Hey,” Raven said breathily as she stood in front of him. Murphy didn’t answer and she exhaled sharply. “Look, I was a dick the other day. Blame it on the fucking hormones, okay?” Digging her toes deeper into her boots, she reached into her backpack and pulled out a paper bag. “Jaha asked me to give this to you.”

Swiping the bag from her hand, Murphy opened it and sighed. On any other fucking day he’d have been ecstatic to have two delightful packages of peanut butter cups all to himself…but he was too fucking proud to let her see it. Murphy gave her the cold shoulder, “I don’t give a shit. Keep them.”

Raven chewed the inside of her lip before she flopped down next to him. “How about we share?” Pouring them candy onto the table, she opened up the first package and revealed two perfectly wrapped peanut butter cups. The smell alone was enough to make her weak in the knees. She moaned low in her throat at the first bite, “Oh god, it’s  _so_  good.”

Murphy frowned deeply. It was oddly erotic the way she savored each bite…but he was also a little jealous that she was eating his candy. “Okay fine,” He grabbed the other package and tore it open. “Peanut butter cups are your favorite too?”

“Pretty much all food is my favorite right now…” Raven’s hand covered her belly instinctively and she grinned.

Murphy snorted before he could stop it. Raven glanced at him sidelong and he sobered quickly. He ate one of his peanut butter cups and then pushed the other one over to her. “Here.”

“Really?”

“You’re eating for two…or three?” Murphy teased. Raven elbowed him in the ribs and he found that he didn’t even mind. She laughed and happily ate the peanut butter cup. Watching her lick the chocolate from her fingertips was more than enough to make his sacrifice worth it. Silence hung between them again, more uncomfortable with each passing moment. Out of habit, he dragged his hand through the strands of his dark hair, “So…”

Raven picked absently at her at a string on her sweatpants, “So…are you coming to group tonight?”

Murphy’s eyebrows rose in surprise. “Do I look like the type that wants to go to fucking  _group_ , Raven?” He scoffed. “My parole officer already makes me go to therapy five days a week. I don’t want to share my fucking feelings one on one, what makes you think I want to do it with a bunch of rejects?” Raven didn’t say anything and he turned to face her head on. “Why do  _you_?”

“It helps,” Raven shrugged. “I just listen and…I don’t know why but I always feel better.” She licked her lips, “It’s not religious, you know. I mean, Jaha starts with a prayer sometimes but it’s not about Jesus or anything.”  

“He put you up to this, didn’t he?” It wouldn’t be Jaha’s first trick. Murphy was well aware that fucking Preacher was a master manipulator beneath all that Jesus bullshit.

“Does it really matter?” Raven replied coolly. “Jaha mentioned it might be good for you to get involved. You’ve been at the house for, what, almost a month now? You don’t have any friends…”

Murphy scoffed, “I don’t  _need_  friends!” He was a rock; he was an island. He needed no one and no one needed him except…Murphy’s eyes slid to Raven’s belly again and he couldn’t help but stop and think. In the light of the day, he could see the clear definition of her bump even beneath her baggy clothes. There was a soft glow that emanated from her that had nothing to do with the sunlight streaming through clouded plexiglass windows.

Raven cleared her throat, “You can feel if you want.” Her palm rested over his shoulder, sliding down his muscular arm until she reached his hand. Gently, she guided his hand to the warmth of her swollen womb. Just like the last time, the child strained to greet the intrusion of his hand against his sacred space. A genuine smile spread over her features and she laughed softly.

God, this fucking kid was  _amazing_. Murphy didn’t even like kids…or he didn’t until this one. Bringing his other hand to the opposite side of her belly, he was completely enraptured in the moment. A laugh bubbled up and escaped his chest as he chased the movement across her abdomen. Murphy would’ve happily remained like this all day but the shrill tone of the final bell broke him out of his reverie. The illusion was shattered and he quickly pulled away from her. “I’ve got to go…” Murphy said gruffly, “See you.” He didn’t wait for Raven to say anything as he jogged toward the door. It was a solid fifteen minute walk from the bus to Dr. Griffin’s office and he booked it. No doubt Abby would complain to his parole officer if he was late. Besides…he actually had something he wanted to discuss today.

Abby was standing in the doorway when he burst in, out of breath. “Right on time,” She smiled gently. “Come on in, John. I’m glad to see you.” Closing the door behind him, she walked over to her favorite chair and settled down on it. “I thought today that we’d—”

“I met a girl.” Murphy interrupted her coldly. “I mean, I already knew her but I just…I  _saw_  her for the first time this week.” If Abby was angry at the intrusion, it didn’t show. His legs bounced nervously as he laced his fingers. “She’s not like anyone I’ve ever met.”

“How so?” Abby probed, eager to learn more about the young woman who actually got John Murphy to talk during one of their sessions. She’d known this young man for over a year now. Most days he moodily stared out the window or cursed out people who ‘pissed him off’. This was huge progress as far as she was concerned.

Murphy mulled the question over. “I guess…she doesn’t piss me off all the time.” He swallowed hard. “And she’s pregnant.”

Abby’s expression didn’t not change, “What does that mean to you?”

“She’s going to have a fucking kid. That’s what being pregnant means,” Murphy replied sarcastically. “You have a daughter, you know how it works,” He snarked.

“That’s the usual outcome of a pregnancy, sure,” Abby remained unfazed. “So your friend has decided to keep her baby?”

Concern crossed Murphy’s features and he shifted uncomfortably. “Well, I didn’t really ask her…” Why did the thought of Raven giving up her baby make him feel like a hole had been ripped in his chest? “She  _has_  to keep it. That baby is her family. You don’t throw your family away.”

This was the kind of progress that Abby had only dreamed of for John Murphy. He was actually thinking about someone other than himself and, for the first time in a year, they had an open dialogue flowing. “I’m not suggesting she is going to throw her baby away. But I’m assuming this is someone you know from school or the halfway house? Caring for an infant might be difficult in her situation. Giving the child up to a loving adoptive family is a viable option for many young mothers.”

Slamming his fist against the arm of the chair, Murphy shook his hand at the pain that rippled up his arm. “There’s no such thing as a loving adoptive family. They’re all crap!” He snapped. “It’ll get hit or touched or…broken. No! I won’t let it happen.”

“I’m sensing you have some strong opinions about this,” Abby kept her eyes trained on his. “Were those the kind of things that happened to you in foster care?” Murphy’s entire body tensed like a wire getting ready to snap. Abby knew better than to push him any further; he was shutting down. She waited for several moments before she steered the conversation back to safer territory. “I think it’s really great that you’re taking an interest in this girl and her child…but I want you to be careful.” Abby paused again. “Are you the father, John?”

Murphy shook his head mutely. He was back to snapping pencils and staring out the window.

“If you want to be involved, you need to understand that this young woman is in charge. Only she can decide what’s right for her and her baby.” Abby leaned closer to him and rested a gentle hand on his arm. “You’re a good man, John Murphy. This girl is lucky to have you as a friend.”

“Yeah fucking  _right_ ,” Murphy snorted. “You’re the one who needs therapy if you think I’m a good man, doc.”

“Good people make bad decisions sometimes…” Abby flashed him a comforting smile before she folded her hands.

For almost a minute, Murphy remained silent. “She wants me to go to this stupid group therapy thing with her tonight…and I’m actually fucking thinking about it. Am I going crazy?”

“The definition of insanity is repeating the same action and expecting a different outcome. This sounds like the opposite of that, John.” Abby liked this girl already. “You know, going to a group can be very healing. Even if you don’t talk and you just listen, it gives you such an interesting perspective into people’s lives. You’re talking about Thelonious’s group?”

“Yeah,” Murphy replied with a shrug.

“Jaha isn’t just a pastor, you know. He’s a licensed clinical social worker…”

“ _So_?”

“So, if you agree to attend his group once a week and have him sign your timesheet, you can use it as one of your mandated weekly sessions. It would mean you’d only have to come here four days a week instead of five.” Abby watched him mull it over. “How about you take the weekend to think about it? Go to the group with your friend and see how you feel. We’ll talk about it again on Monday.”

When Abby stood up, Murphy followed suit. Honestly, not having to come all the way down here every single day was lucrative enough that he was considering it. As long as they didn’t force him to share, it would be fine. Murphy thought about it all the way back to the halfway house. He forced himself to finish his math homework and tried to choke down a few bites of dinner.

Jaha’s group met at seven. Murphy didn’t know why the fuck he was so nervous as he headed to the rec room. His stomach was in knots and his mouth was dry as he slipped in. Raven was already seated on a chair, cross-legged. She’d washed away all her makeup and her dark hair was up in a messy bun…she’d never looked more beautiful. Murphy padded over and plopped into the chair next to hers. Keeping his eyes straight ahead, he could feel Raven staring at him but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of seeing him squirm.

Several more people milled into the red room, filling seats not only within the circle but also on the outskirts. Jaha arrived a moment before seven and he took an empty seat in the circle. “I’m glad to see so many familiar faces here tonight and some new ones as well.”

Murphy shifted uncomfortably. He waited for Jaha to call him out and force him to introduce himself…but that part never came.

Jaha leaned back in his seat. “This is a safe space and people can share whatever they feel here with no fear of judgment. To get the ball rolling, I’d like to start by sharing my own story.” Jaha cleared his throat, “I was born in this neighborhood. My mother was only fifteen when I was born. By the time I was five, I’d been in eleven different foster homes. I felt unwanted…and that made me angry. The angrier I got, the more I lashed out.” He let out a rumbling sigh, “I was already headed down a dark path when I got involved in a gang. I was only twelve years old. For the first time in my life, I thought I had a family. I was brainwashed by the power of that. And I did things…terrible things…” Emotion clogged Jaha’s throat and he swiped at a tear that dripped down his cheek. “When I was fourteen, I was making a drop of drugs with another guy. Things went south. It was the first time I shot someone and I just froze…when the cops showed up, they took me into custody.” There was a long pause as Jaha drew in a shaky breath. “By the grace of God, the man I shot lived and out of that experience, I found my savior…”

 _Here we go_ …Murphy thought to himself. It was about to get all Jesus-y up in here.

“Vera Kane wouldn’t give up on me. She was one part social worker, two parts angel. She took me in and taught me that it was okay to trust people again. It’s because of her kindness that I am sitting in front of you today.” Jaha smiled gently, “Human connection and sharing with others is the most important thing we have in this life. We need people to survive and to thrive.” Folding his hands, Jaha smiled. “Does anyone else want to share?”

Although Murphy’s face was permanently molded into a mask of cold disdain, even he was affected by the tale. He finally worked up the courage to look over at Raven. His heart twisted in his chest when he realized that tears were streaming down her face. She was clearly moved by Jaha’s story. As nonchalantly as possible, he scooted his chair closer and his fingers brushed Raven’s arm. The next thing he knew, she wrapped her hand around his and held tight.

A couple of others spoke after Jaha: a recovering crack addict, a girl who self-harmed and struggled with an eating disorder, and a recently divorced woman who was battling severe depression. The group lasted well over an hour but Murphy didn’t even mind. He sat quietly and held Raven’s hand while they listened intently. People came and went as they pleased, but Murphy was resolved not to leave until Raven did. He didn’t even look at the clock or care that they’d been sitting like this for two hours. Eventually it was just the two of them left in the multipurpose room. Jaha cleared out with only a simple nod to bid them goodnight.

“You okay?” Murphy peered over at Raven. It was just a little after nine but she looked exhausted. “Alright, up you go. I’m taking you to bed…” He watched her tense. “Not like  _that_ …”

Heat suffused Raven’s cheeks and she cleared her throat. “No, of course not. It was just the way you said it…” She shook her head and one hand rested over her swollen belly. “I know that  _all this_  doesn’t get you off. I’m used to it.”

Murphy trotted after her. “If you asked me real nice, I might fuck you,” He replied cheekily.

“I don’t need you throw me a bone, Murphy,” Raven smirked nonetheless. Heading to the dormitories upstairs, she paused just outside her door. Leaning in, she kissed his cheek gently. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

“I don’t know, it wasn’t the  _best_  kiss I’ve ever had…”

“I meant  _group_ , dumbass,” Raven snorted.

Shifting on his feet, Murphy resisted the urge to groan. Of course she meant group… “You were right. It’s not all bad,” He shrugged nonchalantly. “My shrink said if I go once a week, I can get Jaha to sign my sheet. It’ll count toward my mandated therapy sessions.” He wanted to ask her if she was going to be there, if she’d go with him…but he lost his nerve. “I’ll see you around, okay? Make sure you sleep well and drink your milk and whatever the hell else pregnant chicks are supposed to do…it’s for the kid.”

Raven smirked, “Night, Murphy.”

“Goodnight, Raven.” Murphy made sure she her door was closed before returning to his room. Flopping down on the bed in all his clothes, he stared blankly at the ceiling. Everything in his life had been turned upside down but…being with Raven felt good. And fuck, nothing ever felt good anymore. That woman and her child meant something to him; he wasn’t sure what it was just yet but he was most certainly going to find out.


	3. Chapter 3

Murphy went to check on Raven this next morning but Byrne informed him that Raven had been granted a weekend pass. Murphy tried not to be pissed off; he knew he didn’t have the right to be annoyed. Still, he wondered why the hell Raven didn’t tell him she was going to be gone for the next two days! There had been plenty of opportunities. Murphy shrugged it off. It hardly mattered…Raven owed him nothing and he wasn’t her fucking keeper.

Murphy’s moodiness lasted all of Saturday and bled into Sunday. It was raining buckets, so his usual plans of loitering at the park was out of the question. Besides, Murphy hadn’t had a cigarette in over a week anyway; the assholes he hung out with there did nothing but chain smoke and teeter on the edge of getting into trouble. What was the point? Murphy had work to do anyway…he worked on his English paper in between randomly trolling the internet.

In a totally casual, non-stalkery way, Murphy decided to check out Raven’s Facebook page. Suddenly, the uncomfortable—and wholly inappropriate—anger he had been feeling died away as quickly as it came. Raven wasn’t off gallivanting with some guy she’d just met…she’d chosen to attend a weekend retreat for unwed mothers, led by Jaha’s church group. From the literature Murphy,  _ahem_ ** _,_** stumbled upon, the ministry collected maternity clothes and food items for young mothers and their babies, several local companies offered up job training, skill acquisition assistance, and interview tips, and social workers were on hand to help navigate emotional components and stress management when caring for young children.

From the pictures that had been posted, it seemed like Raven was actually enjoying herself. She’d participated in activities and made a few new friends. Also during his casual perusal of her Facebook, Murphy realized that Raven’s birthday was coming up. She was going to be eighteen, which meant a lot of big changes were coming. Murphy vowed that this birthday wasn’t going to be all about changes in state benefits and applying into the welfare system. Raven deserved to enjoy her special day and he was determined to make sure it was one she’d never forget.

First things first, Murphy needed to get her a gift. He braved the storm and took the bus uptown. Concerned glances and glares followed him down the streets and he tugged up the collar of his tattered jacket against the wind. He’d been walking for a while before he paused to stare in the window of a jewelry store. He’d have loved to walk in there and pick out something really nice…but that wasn’t going to happen. Murphy fleetingly considered mugging someone or stealing something, but then he’d end up in Mt. Weather and Raven would be on her own again. He wouldn’t risk it.

Instead, Murphy wove his way down the back alleys until he got to Nygel’s pawn shop. A small bell jangled overhead as he stepped into the warmth of the shop. “Good afternoon,” The heavyset woman behind the counter drawled. “You looking for something in particular?”

Everybody knew this was the place to get weed and pills. Nygel had tapped into Tondc’s underground crime network and it was rumored she had several dirty cops on her payroll. Drugs weren’t really Murphy’s bag and that wasn’t why was here today…Nygel ran a legitimate pawn business and second hand shit was all he could afford. “Just shopping for a friend…” He cleared his throat. “It’s her birthday.”

“Ahh,” Nygel circumvented the counter and sidled over to him. “Is this a special friend?”

“Guess you could say that…” Murphy didn’t see the point in lying. “Look, I don’t have a lot of money, I just want to get her something nice…” Because he cared. Nygel was staring at him now and the embarrassment and tension rose up inside of him. Damn it, Murphy needed to get out of here. “This was stupid. I should just go.”

Nygel stepped in front of the door to block his path and clucked her tongue, “I think I know just the thing. Come here,” She ushered Murphy over to a small case and opened it with a key. Nygel pulled out an antique heart-shaped pendant on a silver chain. Tiny, perfect diamonds accented a small sapphire nestled in the middle. “Three hundred bucks and it’s yours.”  She grinned broadly, “I know, I know, you’d be ripping me off. This is worth a lot more than that…but I know a man in love when I see one. She’s a very lucky girl.”

Murphy’s heart twisted as he stared the necklace. He cared for Raven and he wanted to show her that…but  _love_? It was a bit too soon for that, even if deep down he already knew he was falling. But it didn’t matter. Murphy huffed, “There’s no fucking way I can afford that.”

Nygel pretended to think about for a moment; but she had him right where she wanted him. “You go to that school for delinquents.” It wasn’t even a question. Nygel knew a criminal when she saw one. “There’s a boy there, Connor Pickett. He owes me a lot of money and has been dodging me for weeks now. I bet the dumb slob forgot he has a debt to pay…jog his memory and the necklace is yours. No charge. No strings attached.”

“So all I have to do is knock him around a little bit and you just give this to me?” Murphy raised an eyebrow in surprise. It seemed way too easy. Murphy had never liked Connor; he was lazy and rude. The two of them had gotten into a couple heated discussions over the years but nothing serious enough to bother throwing a punch. Murphy licked his lips, “So…how do you know it got done?”

A crooked smile crossed Nygel’s features. “Oh, believe me, I’ll know…” Placing the necklace back into the case, she locked it up with an edge of dramatic flair. “You’re getting the better end of the deal, if you ask me.”

“Yeah, I’ll think about it …” Murphy felt like he’d been saying that a lot lately. He was suddenly looking at things from a perspective outside of ‘what’s good for me right now?’. He wanted to be better and to do right by Raven…and that meant he had to grow up.

It was starting to get dark out and Murphy hurried toward the bus stop. The entire ride home, he kept thinking about Nygel’s proposal. If he did what she asked, he could get Raven a really nice birthday present and stick it to Connor at the same time. What the hell was the downside? A couple days of detention? Then again, Murphy had learned a long time ago that if something seemed too good to be true, it probably was. He hoped the answer would come to him soon…

Monday passed slowly. He hadn’t seen Raven all day but that was hardly surprising; her classes were in a completely different part of the building. Murphy had, however, seen Connor everywhere he went. The kid’s braying laughter annoyed Murphy to no end; he considered knocking Connor’s lights out just for being a dick. But for now, Murphy was biding his time.

It was the end of yet another day. Murphy was headed to study hall when Professor Kane pushed through the crowd to catch up with him. “Mr. Murphy, I’d like to see you in my office, please?” It wasn’t a request. The bell rang, clearing the hallway of all straggling students. The two men walked down the hallway in unison. Murphy had been in Kane’s office once before and found that little had changed since the last time: orderly stacks of papers were placed on counters and files were in locked away in metal cabinets. Unlike most of the other teachers, there were no pictures of family members or friends on Kane’s desk; the room was devoid of any personal touches whatsoever. It was slightly unnerving…

“Take a seat,” Kane offered, stepping around the desk to face Murphy head on. “This is a bit…unorthodox but I’m Raven’s GED advisor.”

The moment her name was spoken, Murphy sat up straight. “What does this have to do with me?”

“Raven’s already passed the math, science, and social studies portion of the GED exam. However, she’s struggling with the language arts and writing portion.” Marcus folded his hands. “I saw you and Ms. Reyes during study hall last week. You seemed close.”

Murphy glared daggers at Professor Kane, “I’m still waiting for you to make a point.”

“You got almost full marks on the writing portion of the SAT, John. You excel in reading and interpretation. Your spelling has greatly improved since you started at this school, as well.” Marcus sighed, “I’ve applied for a tutor through the state but I was informed that it could take months before they have a slot available. Raven is determined to finish her GED before the baby comes and, as you well know, time is of the essence.” He paused, “I was hoping that you would be willing to help her.” Pulling study materials out of his desk, he slid them toward Murphy. “What do you say?”

Murphy would do anything for Raven…but he wasn’t above trying to get more out of it. “Would I get paid?”

Kane shook his head. “I could offer you extra credit in my class. Perhaps Ms. Reyes could help tutor you in Spanish. But if you need more reason than that, I can tell you that a well-written recommendation can be instrumental when you’re applying to college…”

“ _College_?” Murphy snorted. “You’ve got to be shitting me. I don’t think Yale is looking for juvenile delinquents who’s big accomplishment is improving in  _spelling_.”

“Why is it you think you can’t continue your education, Mr. Murphy?” Kane’s eyebrows furrowed. “You have decent grades, your attendance—while mandatory—has been very good, and your SAT scores were more than acceptable. You could easily get into Mecha Technical College. Learn a skill or a trade, get a good job, and put the past where it belongs…” He narrowed his gaze. “The details of your arrest and sentencing will be  _sealed_  when you turn eighteen. I can even help you with the application so we put your strengths and weaknesses in the best light—”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves,” Murphy stood abruptly and grabbed the packet from Kane’s desk. “I’ll help Raven out however I can. As for the rest of it…we’ll see.” Murphy wasn’t quite sure what to make of this conversation; a month ago, the thought of more school made him want to puke.  But learning a trade? Getting a job that could actually support him…and  _maybe_  a family…well, that was more appealing than he realized. Murphy remained silent as Kane wrote him a pass back to study hall.  

Once the school day ended, Murphy booked it to Dr. Griffin’s. He informed her that he’d start going to Jaha’s group every Friday. He also mentioned the tutoring responsibility that he’d taken on. Abby seemed incredibly pleased and deemed Raven a ‘good influence’ in his life. Murphy wasn’t sure that there was such a thing as a ‘good influence’ but he cared about Raven; he wanted to do better for her.

The whole time during their session, Murphy wanted to bring up Nygel and the deal she’d offered him…but his courage wavered. Abby promised him that everything they talked about would be kept private. Until now, he’d never really shared anything, so he wasn’t sure he could trust her…but he  _wanted_  to. That was progress, at least.

For so long, Murphy had been angry, sad, and depressed; he lashed out and used sarcasm to keep everyone at arm’s length. Despite all of that, Raven managed to worm her way past his defenses. When he got back to the halfway house, he took the stairs two at a time and paused outside her door. As he was working up the courage to knock, he heard what sounded like  _crying_. The protective instinct rose up inside him and rapped his knuckles sharply against the door. He didn’t wait to be invited in. “Raven?”

Raven was sitting cross-legged on her bed in a pair of yoga pants and a sports bra. She gasped when Murphy pushed his way into the room. She made a desperate grab for her shirt in a vain attempt to hide her body from him. Raven swiped at her tears,  “Close the damn door. Jesus!” Murphy walked in and shut the door behind him and she groaned, “I meant with you  _outside_  it!” He was already in, though. What did it even matter? Raven pushed herself up from the bed and stomped over to him. She frowned as she rested her hands on her curvy hips. “Go ahead and make fun. Look at me, I’m a whale!”

A bead of desire tugged low in his belly. Raven’s olive skin was softly illuminated in the hazy fading sunshine. She’d recently taken a shower and beads of water clung to her, droplets trailing to collect between the deep valley between her breasts. Murphy’s gaze dropped lower to her belly and he was surprised at the primal reaction it evoked in him. There were small reddish lines at her lower abdomen; Murphy reached out and traced one before she could stop him. “Does it hurt?”

Gooseflesh erupted over every inch of Raven’s skin at Murphy’s hesitant touch. She expected disgust and disdain, rude comments and fat jokes. Instead, Murphy was so gentle that she nearly wept. “No, they’re just stretch marks. They itch sometimes,” Raven shrugged. “I swear over the last couple weeks, I’ve exploded. My ankles are swollen, I’ve got this stupid double chin, my belly button is an outie now, I  _waddle_ …” Her eyes welled with tears again. “I thought that having to pee all the time was bad before but it’s even worse now. I can’t even find a comfortable position to sleep in anymore.” Raven’s voice shook, “I used to be  _pretty_  and now look at me!” The mirror in the corner of her room was her mortal enemy; she glared daggers at her reflection. “My body isn’t my own anymore and it  _sucks_!”

Murphy’s stomach twisted in knots as Raven unraveled in front of him. She was crying into her hands now and he just wanted it to stop. Slipping behind her, Murphy wrapped his arms around her waist. The baby shifted inside her, nudging against his hands as he rubbed soothing circles in an attempt to sooth the child. “Hey, you’re not  _pretty_ …” Murphy scoffed, “You’re fucking _gorgeous_ , Raven.” Her head shot up in surprise and he caught her staring into their reflection in the mirror. “You should probably get your eyes checked because all I see here is a smokin’ hot pregnant chick. Yeah, you’ve got a couple stretch marks. So what? Your ankles don’t look swollen, you  _don’t_  have a double chin, and you’re not that huge.” Murphy whistled low in his throat, “Besides, have you seen your tits? Holy shit, Raven… _please_  tell me you get to keep those after the baby comes!”

Raven dissolved into laughter despite herself, the tears that streamed down her face were no longer from sadness and insecurity. She grabbed a handful of tissues and wiped her cheeks. Turning to face him, she hugged him as tightly as her belly would allow. “You don’t know how much I needed to hear that…”

“Don’t mention it.” Murphy patted her back several times in an attempt to comfort her. If she didn’t step away from him soon, though, he was going to do more than hug her. Thankfully, Raven pulled away and tossed her overlarge t-shirt over her head. Plopped back onto the bed, she licked her lips. “Any particular reason you decided to stop by?”

Oh. Right…he hadn’t come to ogle her. Murphy reached into his backpack. “I talked to Professor Kane today. He was hoping I could help you with your GED prep.”

Raven smiled when he handed her the study packet. “That’s nice of you but I thought they were getting me a tutor?”

“I guess it takes a while to get one from the state and Kane said you wanted to pass before the baby comes.” Murphy peered over at her. “If you don’t want my help—”

“I  _do_ , Murphy,” Raven cut him off smoothly. “This is great, thanks. I appreciate it.” The two of them sat side by side on the bed and started going over practice exercises together, working through the booklet slowly. Raven wasn’t feeling particularly hungry when dinnertime rolled around but Murphy forced her to go downstairs and get a little bit of food into her. Meatloaf was nobody’s favorite meal but she at half of it. Murphy let her have his milk and piece of cake, though he’d stolen a bite of it when he thought she wasn’t looking. She needed the extra for the baby.

After dinner, they got back to studying. Murphy finished up his math homework and Raven worked on an essay. He wasn’t sure what time it was when he realized Raven had fallen asleep. Gathering up papers and books, he moved them off the bed. Gently, he eased the blanket from the bottom of the bed and pulled it up over her shoulders. Once she was all tucked in, Murphy peered down at her and gently brushed a strand of dark hair from her face. God, she was beautiful…

It was only very reluctantly that Murphy tore himself away. She mentioned how hard it had been for her to sleep and he knew she needed to rest. Murphy flicked off the lights and made sure the door was shut tight. Emotion that he could hardly fathom swirled inside of him as he made his way back to his room. Murphy had a hard time concentrating on anything else…Raven filled every corner of his mind and his heart. Shit, he was in so much trouble…


	4. Chapter 4

“I hate that it gets dark so early,” Raven griped as she stared out the bedroom window. It wasn’t even dinnertime yet and the sun had already dipped below the tree line, bathing the world in murky grey light. “Pretty soon we’re going to be trading pumpkins and falling leaves for snow and Christmas.” And in January, her baby would be born.

Rubbing her belly anxiously, Raven glanced over at where Murphy was laid out on her bed. She had been working up her courage to broach this subject all afternoon. Clearing her throat several times to distract Murphy from his homework, Raven chewed her bottom lip, “I don’t like walking alone at night. Especially now that I can’t really run away if someone came at me…” This was a rough neighborhood, harassment was frequent. Murphy glanced up from his book but he did say anything. Raven rocked back on her heels, “Did you hear me?”

Murphy furrowed his eyebrows and sat all the way up. “Yeah, I heard you…but there’s no reason you should be walking around at night, Raven.”

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that…” The baby was doing somersaults now and it did nothing to alleviate her nerves. “I’ve got an appointment tomorrow afternoon. By the time I get out, it’s going to be dark and I-I guess…” Raven sucked in a calming breath, I was hoping maybe you’d come with me?”

The book he’d been holding slipped out of Murphy’s hands and plopped onto the bed. Shock coursed through him and he abruptly stood. “You want me to go to the doctor with you?”

Redness darkened Raven’s cheeks as her insecurity flared to life again. “You know what? Never mind. Forget I said anything. It was stupid anyway—”

“Raven!” It was the hormones, undoubtedly, but she went from zero to a hundred in the blink of an eye. Murphy closed the distance between them and rested his hands on her shoulders to keep her from pushing him away. “I  _want_  to go.”

“You do?” Raven eyeballed him suspiciously, trying to ascertain if was lying or not. To her great surprise, he seemed genuinely eager. “Well, okay then. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria during last period. You have study hall, right?” Raven was well aware he did, but she didn’t want to appear as if she cared too much…even if she did. Murphy nodded and she hid her smile, “Then it’s a plan.”

Raven and Murphy returned to their studies but there was a nervous energy buzzing in the air. That excited feeling kept Murphy up most of the night and, despite his lack of sleep, he was bursting with energy the following morning. By the time last period rolled around, he felt about ready to jump out of his skin. When Raven breezed into the room, he hurried to her side. Jasper and Monty turned to stare at him with surprised looks on their faces but Murphy paid them no attention.

“Hey,” Murphy shoved his hands into his pockets. “You look great.”

Raven chuckled at his greeting. It warmed her inside that he was just as nervous as she was. “Thank goodness for the maternity clothes Jaha’s church group gave me. I finally have a nice pair of jeans. I mean, they have one of those big fabric panels instead of a zipper but, hey, at least I can get them up over my ass.” There was no use trying to hide her pregnancy anymore; everybody at school already knew and they all had something to say about it. Girls asked her why she didn’t just get an abortion or made comments about the possibility of having twins, since she was so big; the boys averted their eyes and scoffed, labeling her a slut. Raven was done with it…one more GED exam and she’d be done with all this.

Settling down at a table beside Raven, Murphy folded his hands on the table. “Are you nervous?”

“Maybe a little…” Raven admitted reluctantly. “Dr. Nyko is amazing though. He’s been really supportive. He was the one who helped me get a bed at the halfway house and he gives me my prenatal vitamin supplements for free. As far as doctors go, he’s the best.” Murphy was making her feel so at ease…it was an altogether new experience for Raven. “I’m really glad you’re coming, too. I mean, to make sure that I get back safe.”

“Of course,” Murphy replied with a grin. So, she  _did_  want him there for more than a bodyguard; for a brief moment, he was truly happy all the way to his soul. The two of them lapsed into a comfortable silence after that. Raven pored over her language arts workbook and Murphy pretended to study for Spanish. A minute before the bell rang, Murphy packed up his back and rested his hand against the small of her back as he ushered her toward the door. Professor Kane didn’t even say a word as they got a head start to the bus stop.

Murphy didn’t let anyone within two feet of Raven at all times during the trip to the medical center. If she minded, she didn’t say anything about it. It turned out that Dr. Griffin’s office was in the same building as Dr. Nyko’s OBGYN practice. He knew the way easily from there.

Murphy held the door open for Raven before following her into the doctor’s office. The entire place was comfortable and inviting; walls were painted a cozy shade of blue and there was a wide variety of reading materials. Women in various stages of pregnancy lounged with their partners, unperturbed by the arrival of newcomers. Every one of them had someone to support them. It ached fiercely in Murphy’s gut that Raven hadn’t had anyone with her for the last six months…he suddenly wished he’d known sooner. Nobody should have to do this alone.

Raven checked in with the receptionist before she led Murphy over to a set of chairs. After tugging off her coat and settling herself in, she flipped idly through a magazine. Once in a while she glanced at Murphy out of the corner of her eye. Happiness unlike any she’d felt for months bubbled inside of her. It was truly extraordinary how amazing she felt today.

Murphy wasn’t exactly sure what the hell was supposed to be doing right now. So, he looked around at the other couples. One father in particular looked like he knew what the hell was up; his wife was probably as pregnant as Raven, if not a little more. The man had his arm wrapped around his wife’s back and every once in a while, placed a kiss to the top of her head. In turn, the wife cuddled against his shoulder. When the two of them got called back, the doting father stood and followed. The woman seemed happy…so, Murphy decided to give it a try. He stretched and rested his arm behind Raven as nonchalantly as he could manage. Raven glanced up from her magazine and smiled. Success!

A few minutes later, the nurse opened up the door to the back, “Raven Reyes?”

To Raven’s great surprise, Murphy stood and followed her toward the examination room when her name was called. She didn’t expect him to want to come  _in_  with her…but she wasn’t about to stop him either. The nurse handed Raven a gown, “You know the drill. I’ll be back in a moment to take your vital signs.”

Raven thanked the nurse. She bristled slightly as she turned toward Murphy, “You mind turning around while I change?”

“Oh,” Murphy’s cheeks flushed, “Shit, yeah.” He faced the wall and tried to block out the mental images of Raven stripping next to him only a few feet away. He heard the fabric of her pants falling against the floor, followed by her shirt. She cleared her throat several times and he turned around. “Oh, here…” He picked up the discarded garments, folding them and setting them on a chair on the opposite side of the room.

“Thanks.” Before they had a chance to do much talking, the nurse was back. Suddenly, Raven wasn’t so glad Murphy was here… the nurse happily announced that Raven gained  _five_ whole pounds since her appointment last month. Her weight was the absolute  _last_  thing she wanted Murphy to know about her…and now he knew every detail. It didn’t seem to bother him though. He stayed out of the way while Raven’s abdomen was measured, her blood pressure obtained, and her heart rate auscultated. Once all the information was entered into her chart, the nurse left them alone to wait for the doctor.

Murphy remained stiff and silent during the entire conversation. He noticed Raven’s cheeks were flushed pink with embarrassment, though he couldn’t figure out why. Maybe she was uncomfortable with his presence in general? He leaned in to ask her if she wanted him to leave when Dr. Nyko entered the room. He was a bear of a man, with a full beard, coarse dark hair, and tattoos that were only barely hidden by the collar of his buttoned-up lab coat. Murphy liked him immediately.

“Raven, I’m glad to see you!” The doctor grinned broadly. He extended a warm hand to Murphy and shook it firmly. “I’m Dr. Nyko.” Settling himself down on the stool in front of her, he clicked through chart with ease. “Things are looking really good, my dear. Blood pressure is right where I want it. I got the results of your glucose tolerance test this morning and there was no evidence of gestational diabetes. All your blood counts are normal.” He glanced over at her, “And you’re right on target for weight gain. You know what our goal is and I like where we’re at.” He grinned broadly. “So let’s talk about how you’re feeling. How’s your month been?”

Raven shrugged noncommittally, “I  _feel_  fine…although the smell of tortilla chips still makes me nauseous. I don’t think that’s ever going to go away,” She grinned. “I’m just really uncomfortable when I sleep, though. It’s really hard for me to find a position that’s good for me. I also get tired very easily.”

“That’s an extremely common complaint in the third trimester, Raven. You can put a body pillow or a couple of folded pillows behind or underneath your back. Spooning is one of the easiest and most comfortable positions for a pregnant woman.” Dr. Nyko glanced up at Murphy, “You can gently rub her back but no deep massage, alright?”

Murphy nodded, raptly paying attention to every word that came out of the doctor’s mouth. Raven almost informed Dr. Nyko about the real state of affairs between her and Murphy…but she didn’t  _want_  to. For this one appointment, Raven was all too happy to pretend she had someone who actually wanted and loved this baby as much as she did. “Is there anything that I should avoid now that I’m  _mega_  pregnant?” Raven asked. “I know all the previous warnings apply. No sushi, tattoos, smoking or booze.”

Dr. Nyko shook his head, “You’re in great shape, Raven. Make sure you stay hydrated and keep taking your vitamin supplements. There’s no reason you can’t continue to do everything you’ve enjoyed up until now.”  He paused. “If you were asking about sexual intercourse, feel free to engage as frequently as you desire. As long as you’re comfortable and you don’t try any daredevil stunts, everything will be fine. I have several pamphlets about positions that might be comfortable as you near the end of the pregnancy, if you’re interested.” Raven was cherry red and refused to look at Murphy. Dr. Nyko reached into a filing cabinet and pulled them out. He handed them over the Murphy with a soft smile. “Just in case…”

Accepting the pamphlets with interest, Murphy tamped down on the urge to read them right then and there. Raven seemed embarrassed and he didn’t want to add to it. He was here to help, not to make her feel uncomfortable.

“I’d like to finish your physical exam and then how about we take a peek at junior?” Dr. Nyko stood and washed his hands in the sink. He listened to the fetal heartbeat and then palpated Raven’s abdomen. Afterward, he flipped on the ultrasound machine. “Lie back for me, please.” He rolled her gown up to expose her rounded belly. “Hopefully today the baby will cooperate and we’ll finally find out the sex today. Do you still want to know?”

Raven hesitated for a long time before she glanced up at Murphy who had been nothing but quiet and supportive the whole time. “Do you want to know?”

Murphy almost choked. “Raven, it’s really not up to me…” He felt dizzy all of a sudden. “If you want to know, I want to know.” Dr. Nyko squirted some kind of clear jelly onto Raven’s tummy and pressed a thick white wand over it. A whooshing sound filled the room and Murphy glanced at the screen, “What’s that noise?”

Dr. Nyko grinned broadly, “That’s the baby’s heartbeat. A hundred forty-four beats per minute right now, which is excellent.” He grinned. “Here’s the head,” He took a moment to snap a picture. “It’s a good size.” Flipping through more images, he smiled, “Ten little fingers, ten little toes…”

Raven’s throat was tight with emotion and she sought Murphy’s hand. He held on, gripping tightly as he leaned in to see the baby better. Dr. Nyko made several annotations on the screen. “The baby is twelve inches long, perfect for this stage in development.” Shifting the wand again, he turned to them. “I’ve got a clear view of the baby’s genitalia if you want to know. Raven?”

Not trusting her voice, Raven nodded jerkily. She was holding both of Murphy’s hands as Dr. Nyko moved the wand again. “Congratulations, Raven, you’re going to have a boy.” A sob tore through her. Dr. Nyko leaned over and patted her hand, “I’m going to print out some pictures for your chart and a set for you to take home. I’ll give you two a minute.” He handed her some tissues to wipe off her belly and slipped from the room.

Raven wiped the gunk off her tummy and then sat up. Murphy wrapped her tightly in his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the top of her head. Raven sobbed into his chest and he felt tears burning in his throat. He wanted to comfort her, he wanted to protect her but most of all, he wanted to know why the fuck she was crying… “Raven, are you okay?” Murphy pressed. “You wanted a girl, right?”

Snuffling, Raven shook her head, “N-no, that’s not it.” She rested her forehead against the crook of his neck and she sighed. “I’m not sad, Murphy. I’m happy. The baby is healthy. It’s so  _real_  now. A son…”

Murphy didn’t know what to make of all these emotions whirring inside of him…he could only imagine how bad it was for her with the added pregnancy hormones. Tucking a strand of her dark hair behind her ear, he smiled down at her, “You’re going to be such a good mom, Raven. You already love the baby so much.” Raven loved this one little baby more than Murphy had been loved by anyone in his entire life combined. “That kid is so fucking lucky.” He rubbed her back soothingly.

For the longest time, they remained tangled in each other’s arms. Raven would have been content to stay like this forever. Unfortunately, Dr. Nyko had other patients and they needed to get back in time for group. On the way out, the nurse handed Raven a manila envelope with the ultrasound pictures and an appointment card with a date set for two weeks. Now that she was in the third trimester, the appointments would be more frequent. Murphy made a note to remember to keep his schedule clear…after all, it was only going to get darker earlier in the coming weeks. Raven was going to need him, now more than ever.  

The ride back to the halfway house was uneventful. Murphy kept his arm around Raven on the bus and she rested her head on his shoulder, napping quietly on the way back. Dinner was being served when they arrived…there were only two trays left. Murphy made sure that she got the nice one. He was careful to keep his thumb away from the sharp edge of the reject tray in his hand…

Dinner was better than usual; then again, how could the kitchen people screw up frozen pizza? Murphy made sure that Raven finished off her milk and, as usual, slid his piece of cake over to her. She narrowed her gaze, “You heard Dr. Nyko, Murphy. I gained  **five**  pounds last month. I need to cool it on the cake…”

“I also heard him say that you’re doing everything right and to keep everything the same,” Murphy argued. “It’s not you that’s getting bigger, Raven, it’s the baby.”

“I beg to differ,” Raven muttered, but she took the cake anyway. It wasn’t worth the argument and chocolate was her  _absolute_ favorite. She savored each bite, sighing softly as she devoured every last crumb. Murphy was smiling again and that was just another reason to be happy. “I wanted to thank you for today. You went way above the call of duty.”

Murphy shrugged off her gratitude, “Don’t sweat it.” He peered at her, “If you don’t want me to come in next time, just tell me…I was worried you didn’t want me there and were too afraid to say anything.”

“No, I want you there,” Raven said a little too quickly. Redness suffused her face again, “I mean, it’s nice having the moral support. And I can tell Dr. Nyko really liked you.” Squeezing Murphy’s hand, she stood up. “I’m going to take a quick shower and change before group. I’ll meet you down there?”

“Yeah, sounds great…” Murphy wanted Raven waddle away and he rested his head in his hands. Everything in his life was so confusing right now. Part of him wanted to stand up and stake his claim on Raven and her child for all the world to see. Then again, he wasn’t even sure if Raven  _wanted_  that. Sure, she admitted to liking  him around as moral support and felt like his duty to make sure that nobody harassed her when she walked home at night…that didn’t mean she wanted him to play daddy. Murphy wasn’t even sure he knew what the fuck being a father meant. Right now, all he knew was that no harm would come to Raven or her little boy while he had breath in his body. Murphy would give his life for them…


	5. Chapter 5

“Mail call,” Raven’s voice floated through the doorway into Murphy’s room. He glanced up from his computer, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Raven held out the envelope to him, “I told Byrne I’d bring it up to you.” Hopping up on the edge of his desk as gracefully as a woman who was six months pregnant could manage, she nervously licked her lips. “You seem upset…I hope you’re not pissed I grabbed your letter.”

Murphy stared at the plain envelope and turned it over in his hand. There was no return address. “No, it’s fine. I just don’t know who the hell would be sending me anything. My parents are dead, none of my fosters give two shits about me, and I don’t have any friends…” Blue eyes met brown as he smirked, “Except you, of course, and this isn’t your handwriting.”

Raven grinned back at him. “Maybe it’s from your social worker or something,” she shrugged. “The only way we’re going to figure it out is if you open it.”

Murphy tore the envelope open at the seam and turned it over to remove the note. When he inverted the letter, an object plopped out; he narrowly caught it before it hit the floor. Murphy’s stomach twisted as he stared at the necklace that had been on his mind for weeks… it was the one he wanted to get for Raven’s birthday. She was turning eighteen tomorrow and with everything they’d been through over the last few weeks, he was even more determined to make the day special for her. Murphy pulled out the paper inside and stared at the words on the page:  _You owe me one. -Nygel._ Raven’s gaze threatened to bore a hole through him; he quickly shoved the note into his desk drawer and closed it. It was no use trying to hide the necklace, though…she’d already seen it.

“What is that?” Raven pressed.

“Just a little something for you…” Murphy stood and slipped behind Raven. Gently untangling the chain, he settled it around her neck and clasped it. Murphy rested his palms on her shoulders as he reveled in how perfectly it suited her. It was as if this pendant was made for her. “Happy Birthday, Raven,” Murphy smiled.

Raven stared incredulously at the lavish gift he’d purchased for her. “Murphy…” How the fuck had been able to afford this? Raven knew a real diamond when she saw one; the sapphire looked genuine too. She hurriedly reached up to undo the clasp. “This is  _way_  too much. You must have paid a fortune. I can’t accept this!”

“Stop,” Murphy grasped her wrist gently to halt her movement. “Forget about how much it cost, forget about  _anything_  else you’re worried about…do you like it or not?”

Tears burned down her cheeks, “Of course I like it!” Raven’s voice was thick with emotion. “But I don’t deserve it, Murphy. You’ve already given me way too much.” Her heartbeat kicked up in her chest. “You’re helping me study for the GED, you went to the baby appointment, you’re there for me even when we both know you don’t have to be.”

Murphy pulled her into his warm embrace, brushing away a stray tear with his thumb. “I  _want_  to be there for you…and for your son.” He’d been working up the courage to tell her for days; now that it was out in the open, there was a sense of relief. The child within her womb kicked forcefully that Raven grimaced; Murphy’s fingertips brushed over the swell of her belly to soothe him. “Don’t you get it, Raven? I fucking  _love_  you…”

Raven melted against him. She dragged in a cleansing breath, “Good…because I fucking love you too.” Over the last few weeks they’d shared furtive touches and glances, and she’d pecked him on the cheek once or twice. Murphy had grown very comfortable with touching her…Raven found herself extraordinarily jealous of the attention he lavished on the child. Ever since Dr. Nyko gave them the go-ahead, Raven yearned for more than just the G-rated stuff. For several nights in a row now she’d woken up drenched and aching, craving his touch…but Murphy remained the perfect gentleman. Even now as his fingertips trailed over the curve of her belly, she wished that he’d slide them up and cup her heavy breasts…

Murphy placed a chaste kiss to the top of her head. “You don’t need to worry about anything. It doesn’t matter what it takes, I’m going to take care of you, Raven.” When she glanced up at him, time seemed to stop. Even with puffy eyes and a watery smile, Raven was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. God, he wanted her so badly. Before Murphy could chicken out, he tipped her chin up and kissed her sweetly. To his great relief, Raven’s lips parted and she moaned low in her throat. It was, by far, the sexiest sound he’d ever heard.

The kiss was soft at first but Raven was not satisfied to leave it there. She immediately sprang into action. Tonight, Raven was going to have  _all_  of John Murphy. She broke their kiss long enough to make sure that the door was shut tight. She didn’t want them to be interrupted. Not now…not after she’d waited for so long to touch him. Raven popped open the button of his jeans and teased the zipper down. She felt Murphy shudder and a smile ghosted over her lips. It was nice to know he was just as affected as she was.

“Raven,” Murphy’s voice came out as a strangled whisper. “We don’t have to do this…” He was terrified Raven thought she needed to thank him for her birthday gift by giving him something he wanted in return. Blood pumped through his groin and he knew it would be all too easy to succumb to his desire. Murphy couldn’t forget that the woman in front of him was heavily pregnant. The pamphlets Dr. Nyko gave him explained that sex could be uncomfortable in the third trimester; the last thing he wanted was for Raven to do something that didn’t feel good just to make him happy.

Raven stopped abruptly, “You don’t want me?” Her fear of rejection was back in full force. Why the hell would he want her when she was like this anyway? Her stomach looked like she’d swallowed a basketball, she often required his help standing up from low chairs or couches, and she waddled whenever she walked. Raven was well aware she wasn’t going to win any beauty pageants right now.

“Are you joking?” Murphy growled low in his throat. He grasped Raven’s hips to keep her from pulling away from him. He could tell by the look on her face that she was starting to feel self-conscious again and he had to put a stop to it. “Of course I want you, Raven. I just don’t want to push you into something you’re not ready for…you don’t owe me anything. I’m just happy you like the necklace.”

“I like it…but I also want you  _so_  badly.” Raven breathed a sigh of relief. She reached for the edge of her sweater and tugged it over her head. She could tell that Murphy was aroused by the way he shifted his hips and how his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. But he didn’t move just yet. Raven knew he was waiting for permission. “Touch me,” She begged. Raven swore he read her mind as he eagerly cupped her breasts; he applied the perfect amount of pressure and she inhaled sharply. Their mouths met again as she pulled him toward the bed.

Murphy pushed the fabric of her pants down over her hips and carefully helped her step out of them. He hooked his little finger into the waistband of her simple cotton underwear and dragged them down her legs to reveal her body in all its naked glory. As he knelt before her, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to the spot where the baby was kicking. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Raven,” He murmured.

The tenderness with which Murphy touched her nearly brought her to tears again. His soft fingertips traced her curves and he pressed hot kisses to the creamy skin of her thighs to tease her. A gasp caught in her throat as his she felt his hot breath against her core.  _“Lay back,”_  His gruff voice rumbled through her and Raven almost came apart then and there. Scooting back on the bed, she eagerly obeyed. One of her hands hand twisted in his bed sheets as his mouth closed in against the most secret part of her. Her other hand remained clasped over her mouth as she desperately fought against the urge to scream his name. If they made too much noise, someone was bound to check on them and Raven wouldn’t survive if they were interrupted now.

Murphy’s breath came in ragged spurts as Raven writhed. Her legs squeezed tight and he caressed her thighs to keep her open as he pleased her. She was so infinitely responsive that with just a few flicks of his tongue, she was coming apart in his arms. Once she had been properly satisfied, he sat up over her. Murphy eagerly drank in the sight of her writhing in ecstasy; her eyes dilated near-black with pleasure. He was careful not to put too much weight on her belly as he leaned in to capture her lips again. He cupped her breasts again and was rewarded with her throatily calling his name. The knowledge that Raven was truly pleased filled Murphy with a sense of power. He burned with the need to be inside of her.

Raven squirmed against him, her fingers teasing up his spine. She let out a soft sigh of exasperation, “Murphy, why the  _hell_  are you still dressed?” Raven sighed breathily and tried to tug at his clothing but it was hard from this angle. Murphy took a step back and dragged his shirt over his head. Her heartbeat kicked up in her chest. Watching him strip down was almost as erotic as the softness of his naked skin pressing against hers. As he devoured her mouth, she shifted to make room on the bed. Murphy crawled in behind her and his body molded against hers. Raven moaned as he began to press soft kisses to the curve of her neck and shoulder.

Murphy traced Raven’s side teasingly, “How do you want to do this?” He asked softly. So far, she seemed to be enjoying herself but he wanted to blow her mind. “We can try it like this or if you want to be on top, I’m fine with it.” He rested his hand against her hip, “I just want it to be good for you.”

“I like the way things are now. I just want you inside me.” Raven covered his hand with hers. Wriggling her bottom to entice him, she could feel his length twitching against her. Even though he was eager, Murphy was extraordinarily gentle. She hissed at the intense pleasure she felt as he finally slid inside of her. “That’s good…” She whimpered. Raven could sense Murphy’s hesitation and she whispered soft words of encouragement as he moved within her. Heat sang in her veins, her heart pounding furiously. It wasn’t long before they were both consumed by the heat of their lovemaking.

When Raven tightened around him and moaned his name, Murphy forgot to be scared. He poured into the heart of her, his arms wrapping around her as their passion began to cool. Resting his forehead against her shoulder, he couldn’t stop smiling. The baby kicked lazily against Murphy’s palm, unperturbed by the goings-on outside of his tiny world. Raven remained quiet but he could tell she was pleased. She was starting to doze off and he pulled the blanket up from the bottom of the bed. “You should take a nap. Doc said you need plenty of rest. I’ll leave you alone—”

“Don’t,” Raven begged. “It feels good when you hold me like this.” It had been so long since she found a comfortable position to sleep in. Murphy’s body fit tightly against her and her back was supported. Already she was half-asleep; it was a miracle.

“I promise you, Raven, I’m not going anywhere,” Murphy kissed her cheek again as he cuddled against her. There was homework to be done and a drug dealer to contact…but only Raven really mattered. Everything else could wait. Raven’s breathing became soft and even within a few minutes; she was out cold. Murphy basked in the calm and the innocence that surrounded her as she slept. He wanted it to be like this all the time; just her and him and the baby. Murphy vowed—from this moment forward—he and Raven would never sleep apart again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is as much of this fic as I've written...not sure if I want to continue. Let me know if you're liking it! Do you want more?


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